Filling Up My Bucket: Focusing on What’s Important

There’s a phrase used in school that encourages young children to be “bucket fillers.” Essentially, the children’s book, Have You Filled a Bucket Today?, by Carol McCloud, encourages children to show love, kindness, and appreciation to others by helping to “fill their bucket” each day. A bucket filler does and says kind things, in order to bring happiness to others and themselves. Bucket fillers focus on the positives, and they do/say things that add to others’ wellness, not take away from it. 

Well, lately I feel as if I’ve been filling up my own bucket. The sweet days of summer are coming and going quickly, but I’m certainly not taking them for granted. There are many things that I could focus on this summer that would take from my bucket of happiness. Those thoughts still swirl around in my mind, but I’m doing my best to push them aside and live in the moment. I should have all the laundry done. I no longer fit into this bathing suit. I should wash the floor instead of napping with Arden. However, my focus has been shifted to all the joy this summer holds, because that’s where the real memories are made. 

The weekend before last we spent two days at my sister-in-law and her husband’s lakehouse, and it was absolutely wonderful! To see Arden play with his cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmas and grandpas brings me so much joy. The laundry wasn’t done. Dishes were piling up in the sink. The lawn wasn’t mowed. But we shut the door, and went to enjoy some of the hottest, most beautiful days of the year with our family. Because they won’t last. Arden might be too young to remember that he went to the lake, basked in the sun, and played until it was time to leave and he passed out on the car ride home. But he will know the feeling of immense love. And he will have photos to remind him of the good times that were had. He certainly won’t remember that he used a different hat, because his usual one was dirty in the laundry basket. He definitely won’t remember that there were dishes in the sink, and the house didn’t look pristine before we left. 

Last week Arden and I also went on a walk down the road to our neighbour’s house. A neighbour, who also happens to be a good friend and my grade partner at school. It was a hot day, and we hadn’t yet been outside. [Northern Alberta has been experiencing record breaking heat this summer. Which is incredible for us! We know that the icy cold of winter will be here before we know it!] I quickly packed up the stroller, and we were on our way. Some of the laundry was still sitting on my kitchen table, waiting to be folded or put away in the closet, but it didn’t matter. For two hours, we took a break, and enjoyed the day. Arden got to see goats and chickens; a first for him. It was adorable to see him staring at these new animals in wonder. He even slapped his thighs in an attempt to call the goats over to him (like he does with our dogs and cats at home). It was adorable. He enjoyed the new view, and I got to enjoy a visit with my friend. And you know what, when we got home, Arden relaxed, played, and cooled off in the AC, and I was able to finish putting away the laundry. All was well, and we had thoroughly enjoyed the day. 

Not only am I trying to take advantage of the beautiful summer days, but I want to enjoy all the little moments that we have. Arden and I regularly take “floor naps” in the afternoon, where we sleep together on soft lambskins purchased for us by his grandma. At this point, my baby is stable, he has night care, and I’m usually able to get a decent night’s sleep. But our naps aren’t about my rest. Arden needs the rest, and he loves to have his momma by his side for comfort. He twirls my hair in his fingers and snuggles his face up next to mine. There are many things I could be doing during this time, but I know these moments won’t last. There will come a time when my sweet boy no longer naps in the afternoon. There will come a time when he no longer gazes into my face as if the sun shines there. There will come a time when he may not want to snuggle with his mom. I’m doing my best to live in the present moment, because these times are precious, and I want to appreciate them while they’re here. 

As parents, the focus is almost always on Arden, but Brodi and I are stealing some of our own moments as well. In the evenings when Arden is asleep and his caregiver is here, we will sneak out to check on the garden together, or watch a funny show we both enjoy. The other night we even took a ride on the rhino to check on our trees along the driveway. It’s a far cry from the side-by-side rides we used to embark on while headed out of civilization and into the trap line, but it still brought me great joy. 

The other day, I thought to myself, we are living the sweetest moments of our life. Sure, there are hard days now too. There have been and there will be again, times when we are scared and uncertain. Just like I’m sure there will be other beautiful moments to come. Many happy days and times spent as a family. But right now, I’m focused on the present. These days will never happen again. 

This past week, due to the extraordinary weight of my large wardrobe…my side of our closet collapsed. After a couple days of stressing about the state of our bedroom, and the clothing that was now scattered around our house, I decided to worry less and take action. I’ve been selling a lot of my clothes and working to downsize the amount of items I own. [Side note: check out my instagram @itsalockhartlife to see all the great items I have left!] It’s amazing how I had become such a hoarder of clothing over the years! It’s also amazing how much this small (in the grand scheme of things) situation increased my anxiety and made me feel out of control. After realizing that the situation wasn’t going to be solved in a day, I succumbed to the fact that my house wasn’t going to be perfectly tidy for a little bit, and that’s okay. The summer days carried on, and I endeavored to continue living in the present.

Arden has been doing well lately, and we have so many things to be grateful for. The summer sun won’t last forever, and soon we’ll have plenty of cold winter days to do inside tasks. 

This weekend, I’m looking forward to the MOST amazing event that will take place in Arden’s honour. Riverbend Golf and Country Club will be hosting Arden’s Superhero Tournament. It will be a fun day filled with fun hole activities, raffle items, and a fabulous dinner. We’re SO excited! If an event like that doesn’t fill up your bucket, I don’t know what will! 

XO, Rayel