Tomorrow I’ll Turn 30

Tomorrow I’ll turn 30. And in the midst of a group of friends who have been dreading this year, I am standing here, ready to welcome 30 with open arms. In my family, aging has always been celebrated. Not with extravagant parties or lavish gifts, but with acceptance. I’ve always had this understanding that with age, comes different experiences, and different seasons of life. I am truly ready for this next season.

Over the years, I’ve had people make many comments to me about age. In my teens, the most common one I heard was, “These are the best years of your life!” I scoffed, because I knew that couldn’t be true. I didn’t yet have control over my own life, my own destiny. And I knew that in my 20’s, there would surely be more responsibility, but there would also be freedom. 

In my 20th year, I changed my major and decided to become a teacher. I realized the importance of always being myself. I met a few new friends and realized that having a large group meant nothing compared to having one lifelong friend. Later on that same year, I met, started dating, and fell in love with my soulmate. It was the beginning of the greatest adventure. One that would lead us both to grow in ways that we never thought possible. Over the past ten years, we’ve grown up together. We’ve gotten degrees, obtained careers, moved multiple times, and built our own acreage. 

I never could have imagined that the beginning of this new decade would look the way that it does. 30. This past year has ushered me into this new age in a way that has changed me and forced me to grow. Although I can honestly say that it was the hardest year of my life, it was also the most transformative. Not only did I become a mother, but I became ME. 

It’s funny because although I feel this sense of power and confidence and wisdom about myself as I turn 30, I can already see myself reading this at 40 and thinking, “Wow, she really didn’t know anything, did she?” And that’s the great thing about aging. You can’t possibly know what is to come. You just live in the moment and then years down the road you get to look back and reflect on the seasons of your life and all the moments that have carried you to the present. 

One thing I know for sure, is that this past year has given me the confidence to share my opinions with conviction. It’s also given me the wisdom to know when those opinions need to be re-evaluated, or when they don’t need to be shared. It’s given me more empathy than I’ve ever felt before, and I’m unafraid to always be kind, regardless if it comes off as awkward or silly. It’s given me the ability to focus on how I view myself, instead of worrying about what I perceive that others see in me. It’s given me the ability to see that people can change, and the courage to let it go and unburden myself if they don’t. It’s shown me love, in the deepest, purest form. 

I’m standing on the edge of 30, and I’m ready. Let’s see what the next ten years has to offer!

XO, Rayel