Mother’s Day: Celebrating all the Magical Mamas
I can truly say that I have been so excited for this Mother’s Day. On this, my second Mother’s Day, I will relax in the comfort of my own home. I will slowly drink coffee from my own favourite mug, and enjoy the delicious belgian waffles that Brodi cooks for me. I’ll snuggle up on the couch with my sweet Arden, and relish the fact that I can hold him without the constant presence of nurses, doctors, and respiratory therapists. I’ll receive a hug and kiss or ten from Brodi, and know that I am loved beyond measure. I’ll soak up every single moment, because I am truly so grateful to be a mother. Specifically, I am so grateful to be Arden’s mother.
Motherhood has changed me in ways that I never thought possible. I had friends and colleagues who used to tell me that once I became a mother, my perspective would change. I believed them, but I never anticipated the magnitude of those changes. The world now seems a little softer, a little more fragile, and I care just a little more. I now know what it’s like to have my whole heart living outside of my body, and to be overwhelmed by the love that I feel. As a teacher, I have always loved and cared deeply for children, but now the love and respect I feel for moms and dads goes deeper. I now see the countless hours and the sheer determination that goes into raising a little one. I now know what it means to willingly neglect my own needs in order to provide care for my child. I now know that once you become a mother, that innate need to nurture, protect, and care for everyone seeps into all other aspects of life.
I now also see the full extent of the strength that the women around me hold. Women are fearless, passionate, creative, loving, and so beautiful! I look at neighbors and community members in a different light, and I see the way that they apply the nurturing love of a mother to everyone they meet. I see the drive and the determination that the women around me possess. I see the passion that they put into all aspects of life. And the incredible thing is, you would think that once women became mothers, they would have less time for such endeavors. But the strength of women only grows, and I see them becoming more and more wonderful as the universe pushes them towards greater responsibility. I see the wonderful and unique ways in which my sister-in-laws provide the most incredible lives for their children, and I am now a part of a bond that only the shared experience of motherhood can create. I fully appreciate my mother-in-law for all of her amazing qualities. Her thoughtfulness is unparalleled, and the love she shows for her grandchildren is a force to be reckoned with. She is the matriarch of our Lockhart family circle, and her kindness and tenacity for the celebration of family is unmatched.
I am endlessly grateful for my own mother, for she has shown me the strength to live joyfully in any situation. She is quite possibly the most independent, adventurous, and eclectic woman I know. I recognize that her ability to dance to the beat of her own drum is where I derive that same skill.*
Today I will celebrate. I will celebrate the new version of myself that was born on the same day as my son. The person who existed before Arden entered this world does not exist anymore. She has been replaced by a stronger woman. She has been replaced by a woman whose eyes are now wide open to the incredible gift that being a woman and a mother holds. I hope to always cherish and show gratitude for all of the incredible mothers in my life. So today, I will raise my cup of coffee to all the mothers. Thank you. Thank you for leading the way.
XO, Rayel
*I will never forget a moment that my mom and I shared last year, while Arden was still in the hospital. I cried, because I felt guilt. My mother had packed up her entire life, and was driving down to Edmonton to spend every single week with me. Even when she wasn’t allowed into the hospital with me because of Covid restrictions, she spent the days cleaning my little spaces, and ensuring that I had clean clothes and meals to eat when I could muster an appetite. Even when I couldn’t sleep because my stress and grief were too much to bear, she laid beside me and held my hand. I cried to her, because the gratitude that I felt at that time enveloped me. Her response came swiftly, and I knew in that moment that the overwhelming love of a mother lasts a lifetime. She said to me, “Teeny, that love that you feel for Arden right now…that’s how I feel about you. And I will be here to care for you no matter what.” I’ve replayed those words a thousand times. Before then, I had always appreciated my mom. She is after all, my best friend. But now I see. I understand. And I hope to always love my own child as fiercely as she has loved my brother and I.