*This letter was written on August 12, 2020. Arden had gotten his tracheostomy procedure the week prior, and was still sedated most of the time for recovery purposes. I was struggling as I watched him go through this time, and I wanted him to know that no matter what he faced, we would do it together. One year has passed since our little man entered this world, and it has been the greatest year of my life. I am so grateful for everything that Arden has shown us. His strength, resilience, and spirit has carried our family through everything. To see him thrive at home has been the greatest gift. We can’t wait to see what the next year holds for our amazing Arden!
My sweet Arden,
I hope that one day if you read this, you will know that you have been loved beyond measure from the very beginning. We planned for you, and waited for you, and celebrated with love the day you entered this world. As soon as the nurse said, “It’s a boy!” I smiled and replied, “His name is Arden.” Later on, people would ask me what your name means. At the time, we didn’t know. Your dad is Brodi Jay Arden, and I loved the name the very first time I heard it. Later I would research and discover that in some denonations, Arden means “great forest.” I love that.
Your dad and I have always been innately connected to nature. We’ve spent many days and nights, camping or adventuring around the trap line. Hunting, walking, foraging, discovering. We’re most at peace in the midst of a forest, away from all the noise and distractions that the rest of the world produces.
To me, the forest is peace. And it’s what I find every time I hold you or look into your eyes. Your bright eyes are so beautiful. I like to imagine that you’re an old soul. Maybe one day you and I will share a taste in music, and i’ll introduce you to the nostalgic sound of records. By this point you’ve already heard a lot of Fleetwood Mac and The Beatles. Hopefully I haven’t worn it out already! I hope that one day you will get to experience the peace of a connection with nature. Wherever you are, look for the nature around you. Stop, take a deep breath, touch your feet or hands to the earth or the grass. It’s grounding I promise.
Your dad can’t wait to teach you so many things. He’s quite a handy guy when it comes to outdoor pursuits. Your dad loves to spend hours at the trap line, on the rhino or snowmobile, falling trees, chopping wood, checking and setting traps. He’s also really handy at home. He can fix almost anything he sets his mind to, and he can build anything your mom dreams up. We make a great team that way. My imagination allows for some creative ideas, and your dad has the logic and smarts to make them reality.
I know that you are going to love growing up where we live. Our acreage has lots of trees, privacy, and open space. Our home isn’t big, but it’s our favourite place to be. Love will always live there, because your dad is truly my soulmate. You are part of that now too, little one. We love you more than anything in the world.
In the world we currently live in, people seem so connected via social media, and so disconnected from real people, conversations, and interactions. Luckily for us, we come from a close knit family and community. Our family, our friends, our neighbors, our community – they all truly care about us, and they’ve been there to lend a helping hand.
Your family will always be close by. Grandma & Grandpa Reid live about 20 minutes away, and Grandma & Grandpa Lockhart life just down the road. We drive over there lots on the side-by-side. Usually Leo rides with us, and Lexi chases behind, yipping and barking excitedly. You’ll get to meet them soon too. I’m not sure how they’ll feel about you at first, but I think after a while they’ll become great cuddle buddies for you.
Right now mommy is living in an apartment in Edmonton close to the hospital so that I can spend every single day with you. Daddy is working at home during the week. Grandma Bonnie stays with me during the week to help out, and your dad drives down every weekend to be with you and I. Some of our very best moments happen when he is here, and we can be together as a family.
Last week you got your tracheostomy. It’s been hard to see you sleeping and recovering for so many days. But I hope this will be a step forward on our road to going home. I hope you know we have learned so much, advocated for you, and been by your side every step of the way.
We can’t wait for you to meet all of your family. Your grandparents, aunties, uncles, and cousins will all be so, so, so happy when they finally get to meet you!
Have I mentioned that right now we’re currently in the middle of a worldwide pandemic? Everytime we come to the hospital, we have to be screened at the door, hand sanitized, and given a mask to wear the whole time. Only parents are allowed to visit their children as the two designated visitors. Grandma Bonnie has been allowed in with me during the week when daddy is not here. We are lucky for that. The biggest concern is “covid-19,” and it has changed everything. In Edmonton, you must wear a mask in all indoor public spaces. “Social distancing” is encouraged and people are told to remain 6 feet apart from others. Everything (and everyone) is being sanitized repeatedly.
So needless to say, no one but daddy, Grandma Bonnie, and I have been able to meet you. We can’t wait for the day when we can show you off to the rest of the world. Our strong little man! So brave, and oh so adorable! We’re so proud of you!
Love, mom